In a sense, this day should not be any more1 important than the previous one hundred seventy.
Ideally, one should treat this day like any other. They importance of each should be equivalent.
The fact that they’re not to students can frustrate many a teacher.
Now that I’m on my eighth go-around, this much I know: This one day need not define me.4 I have always told my students on the previous 8 opening days that one number5 in the absence of additional context should not mean much. It wasn’t until recent campaigns that my mind fully accepted the same should be true for us teachers.6
There are personal and professional circumstances that I will not discuss here, but I have come to understand that sometimes, it is not until faced with the possibility of losing that which one is most insecure of losing does one allow themselves to face up to the reality there might be something more… something greater… something grandiose out there.
Earlier this Spring I went for a scramble down to Abiqua Falls in Oregon that could have ended me.7 Yet I felt an uncanny peace in my heart, knowing that should this ride come to an end later this Spring,89 that I would be able to walk away, knowing that it was a journey that I didn’t nearly deserve.
Yet in the back of my mind, one fear of insecurity rings out: That my fine-wine index may vary inversely with my ability to relate to my clientele. I have long told myself that I’ll continue on this ride for as long as I can do it well.10 This campaign11 has at least shown me that that golden balloon has not yet hit that line.
- nor any less↩︎
- To clarify: I mean that we can frustrate ourselves.↩︎
- Also, depending on the school or district for which one works: the fact that they’re not to administrators frustrates teachers. Basically, teachers are a shafted people group.↩︎
- Because I know there have been seasons earlier in my journey when I allowed it to.↩︎
- and as a corollary, one day, or one test score, et al.↩︎
- See: “Things that go through my head before the AP Exam (May 6, 2014)”↩︎
- No exaggeration. There are multiple paths down the ravine and let’s just say I took the worst one down…↩︎
- As of now, for the record: It is not.↩︎
- I’m talking about my professional journey — I was scared as heck for my personal safety while hanging by a rope down the near-vertical decline↩︎
- Which… sometimes I wonder. How do we even know…↩︎
- in which I have been blessed with some of the most wonderful students↩︎