After getting out of a movie1 at the Drafthouse this evening, I checked my news feeds, and that was one of the first headlines that I saw.2
Having always been of the “more action, less words” ethos, it reminded me of a moment towards the end of the 2012-13 school year, when a very nice and humorous student of mine exclaimed during class,
I gave her a half-sarcastic smile, and said — in good-natured jest:
“You know… if you have to TELL people that you’re precious… you’re not precious.”
So on that note,
Here’s a short list of similarly duplicitous statements that I’ve compiled:3
I’m not violent. I’m gentle.
Another female student, after punching a male classmate in the shoulder full force during a friendly dispute)
Read: I’m violent.
We care about our users’ privacy.
Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook
Read: We don’t give a $*** about your privacy. Actually, we make TON$ of money by violating your privacy, so we DO care about violating it.
Lebron doesn’t run this organization.
Dan Gilbert, owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers
Read: Lebron runs this organization.
I care about getting my teammates involved in the flow of the offense.45
Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
Read: Just get the damn rebound.
- “The 5th Wave”, if you’re curious. Decent. Well… a little better than the 18% it had on the Tomatometer when I walked into the theater. [↩]
- Yes, the Cavs fired David Blatt. Finally. [↩]
- I’m sure to add to this list as I remember more [↩]
- I don’t’ know if Kobe actually said this, but is anybody going to tell me that this is outside of the realm of plausibility? … Didn’t think so. [↩]
- I also throw this one in here because today is the 10th anniversary of Kobe’s 81-pointer against the Raptors. [↩]